tights sox and knickers

Finding Your Own Way

2012-01-27T19:33:00.005+11:00

Happy Birthday to Stephen B.

View From My Window A Few Nights Ago

2012-01-24T16:52:00.010+11:00

Just sitting, looking and listening. Click on my pic to hear.

Just Letting The Dust Settle

2012-01-10T13:52:00.014+11:00

A week of processing the events outlined in my last post hasn't been easy. I am determined to avoid self-pity but, for some reason, I can't not care about these people. Only thing is that from now on I'll be caring about them from a good distance.
Dad's hateful rant really has changed my thinking. The penny has finally dropped. For way too long, I've been focused on the 'injustice' of how he treats me, somehow thinking that 'if he could only get to know me and the person I am, he will accept me and love me ('get' me) - like all fathers unconditionally love their daughters, right?' Wrong! I now realise with crystal clarity that many people are simply not capable of liking their children - particularly those children who share a different world view, or don't capitulate to the demands (or massage the ego) of a parent. Apparently, it's not that uncommon, but there's nothing I can do about it. Actually, I can only feel sorry for Dad, because he has shown himself up to be (yet another) pathetic narcissist and it is obviously beyond his control. Therefore, I am beginning to forgive him, but will never forget (and need no more reminders!) the extent of his animosity towards me. I'm moving on and every day becomes easier, as I train my mind bit by bit to stop the internal conversation with him.

Currently, I'm taking time out to do things I've been putting off - cataloguing my music collection on the 'Discogs' data base, for example. I finally had Gertie's nails trimmed yesterday. We went on a walking excursion - with her in a box - to the local vet and she's looking very spick and span now.
Music is helping, as always. Currently, I'm enjoying Byetone's new album, 'Symeta' on 'Raster Noton', but I still love 'Plastic Star' - from his earlier (2008) album, 'Death of a Typographer'. Here's a YouTube of the album version (no video here though - just a still image of the album cover.

Exhumation

2012-01-05T15:26:00.005+11:00

Now into another new year, this post is obviously an exhumation - bringing something back to light that has not exactly been buried, but definitely abandoned of late. If I actually do have any readers here, my apologies are in order for this gap in communication. Despite my gaps however, I do always come back.

Certainly the unexpected arrival of my new little cavy housemate, Gertie (see second-to-last post), has thrown a metaphorical spanner in the works. I wouldn't have thought a guinea pig would be so high-maintenance, but the fact that she resides in my own apartment means constantly cleaning/picking up after her, not to mention having to launder her bedding towels and blankets every other day. There is also the endless shopping for her vegies and making sure she has an ever-present supply of hay and dry food. Since guinea pigs are social animals and I am unable to court the option of a guinea pig friend for her, I must also make the time to spend with her - making sure she is comfortable, continuously entertained and happy. It is a handful, to be sure, but when I get frustrated or impatient with her (or simply low in my own spirits), I just look at her and am immediately reminded of how adorable she is - just so completely real and joyously 'in the moment'. When she responds to my affection and gives the love back, I feel instantly rewarded and know it's all worth it. As I write this, she is reclining upstairs in her big cage, trying to stay cool in Sydney's January humidity. Her claws are so long, they resemble Nosferatu's, but I lack the confidence to attempt cutting them.

Talking about confidence, my own has once again been hammered and very much tested by my father, who (yet again) managed to ambush me with an onslaught of grievances and resentments about myself and the way in which I live my life - finding fault after fault in a bitter and hateful rant about virtually everything ever to do with me. I was in a stressed and defensive position right from the start in this hostile environment, yet anything I said in my defence, or to 'put the record straight', was rubbished and talked over. I wasn't my normal self. For three and a half hours, my life was being trashed and I was expected to just sit there and be judged.

From the outset, I knew I was walking into an environment of resentment about my lack of visiting them (even though they make it clear that they dislike my company and I don't own any personal mode of transport), so broached the topic early on, saying that I simply wanted to find a way (or a compromise) to make things work, so everyone could be happy, trying to explain to them that I'm not inclined to go away much - in fact, I've left town 3 times in over 6 years and one of those times was to their place! - but I had given Mum an open invitation to come and stay at my place, which was apparently not an option. In fact, at this early stage of our meeting, Dad leapt off his seat and spat pure bile at me about my "disgusting" home, saying ".... and you expect your mother to stay there!" Here's where I began being defensive, explaining that my home of 16 years - although perhaps not to their taste - is clean, comfortable, organised and, importantly, that it was MY HOME and that since they were inclined to come to Sydney several times a year, it might be an option, but no, not good enough. Dad would rather just sit there, abusing and sneering at me, all the while drinking beer, then wine, then beer again. Of course, the accusations were completely untrue and unfair - just his negative slant on my motivations and actions and all the while, I'm sitting there, being pushed into a desperate, ranting mode of defensiveness - desperate to clarify things, inform them of what I do creatively, how I live my life, what I love and value - while all the while being talked over and scoffed at. At times, he just walked out of the room while I was in mid-sentence. As he insulted me, I kept saying "You have no right to talk to me like that!". At one point, I felt so hurt and angry, I followed him out of the room and beat his chest weak-fistedly, devastated by his coldness towards me. Overwhelmed with emotion, I pushed my face into his shoulder and demanded that he put his arms around me and show me love. He gripped me tightly for a while, but couldn't look at me. I was so relieved, I sobbed and said "thank you" over and over, but as soon as the hug was released, the curtain came back down again and the hostility and bullying escalated. I could never satisfy them anyway, because they only value work that is paid and money and/or status in general and I've been unemployed for over a year now. It's hard to find a new job, especially with no contacts. A little bit of encouragement or support would certainly have been more useful than these bullying accusations of "Job Snob!" Also, I do not criticise their values or their homes, even though they are alienating to me (their own home and my sister and her partner's, where we sat that day, are minimal and airily comfortable in the way that corporate office or art gallery foyers are - ie sterile, bland and with none of the clutter of life [or love] in them), but the life I have lived/am living must be summed up as a series of mistakes, irresponsibilities, pretensions and excuses, apparently.

His final insult to me was "Your problem is that you think you're bigger than you are" and I immediately realised that he saw it as his job to cut me down to size. Great. Father of the year, eh? Taking it as his duty to knock his daughter's self-confidence. That was it for me. I said "I'm leaving" and Dad cackled at me as I gathered my belongings. "Typical", he snarled arrogantly, to which I answered - in all fairness - "You're an asshole!"

NO MORE.

Quote Of The Day

2011-08-09T13:58:00.002+10:00

"[T]his readiness to assume the guilt for the threats to our environment is deceptively reassuring: We like to be guilty since, if we are guilty, it all depends on us. We pull the strings of the catastrophe, so we can also save ourselves simply by changing our lives. What is really hard for us (at least in the West) to accept is that we are reduced to the role of a passive observer who sits and watches what our fate will be. To avoid this impotence, we engage in frantic, obsessive activities. We recycle old paper, we buy organic food, we install long-lasting light bulbs—whatever—just so we can be sure that we are doing something. We make our individual contribution like the soccer fan who supports his team in front of a TV screen at home, shouting and jumping from his seat, in the belief that this will somehow influence the game's outcome."
— Slavoj Žižek -

Gertie

2011-07-31T19:56:00.004+10:00

"I think I could turn and live with animals, they are
so placid and self-contained,
I stand and look at them long and long."
- Walt Whitman -

Genesis Breyer P-Orridge

2011-07-28T12:54:00.008+10:00

I continue to hold an enormous respect for the work of Genesis Breyer P-Orridge, who tirelessly persists in pushing at the boundaries of what it is to be human in this world. I particularly respect his ongoing commitment to the cut-up techniques of Brion Gysin and William Burroughs - 'cutting through the association lines of control' - including, more recently, his exploration of the possibilities of evolving beyond the constraints of gender dichotomies.
Anyway, I found the link to this interview with Genesis in Resident Advisor today.

Music, Music...

2011-07-20T13:46:00.007+10:00

Yes, I have only just discovered Julianna Barwick. Her basic approach is something I like to do myself - layering vocals by harmonising against the previous one(s) (or over what an instrument track suggests to me) - but Barwick has clearly perfected something here. It's a little Enya-like - to make a very obvious comparison, though without the 'ick' factor. There are only suggestions of words in the cathedral-like spaces she creates with masses of reverb, her angelic voice and perhaps a hint of bass or piano. I'll let this - the title track of her most recent album, 'The Magic Place' - speak for itself. If the embedded version gets removed, I promise I'll put the link in here instead.

An Oldie But A Goodie

2011-07-14T13:49:00.006+10:00

I highly recommend linking to this YouTube video (linking rather than embedding this time, because too many just get removed). From 1978 - the absolutely classic electro of Thomas Leer's 'Private Plane'.

New Housemate

2011-07-09T17:15:00.005+10:00

Where does time go? Now that I've started with a well-worn cliche, I feel I should apologise for the lack of posting lately. Basically, I've been run off my feet - mostly the usual projects and distractions, but the last three weeks by a little new housemate who is proving to be very high maintenance. But then, she is so utterly sweet and gorgeous that I don't really mind at all and we're steadily getting used to each other.
Little Gertie was given to me three weeks ago today, as a birthday gift from friends. OK, so it's inappropriate to give people pets as presents, but somehow I think these friends of mine understood from the start that I wouldn't be able to resist her and it's true. The only rub really is that there have been a few associated expenses - a checkup at the vet, an expensive 'hay bungalow', plus a brand new cage - something sizeable enough for her to be happy in as a solo pig, whilst also fitting in with my apartment lifestyle - ie my living room, so that she can feel a part of things. All completely worth it, I should add.
Apart from spending much of the day holding handfuls of her poo and the constant cleaning up after her generally, she is just so funny - and quite smart. A bonus is definitely the variety of noises she makes - from high-pitched, long squeals, to little purrs and 'tuk tuks' as she forages around in her hay or jumps around excitedly. Still getting used to her twice-a-day cuddle time (thanks for the advice, Julianna!), she prefers to sit across my chest and nuzzles my chin - and even my mouth at times - and nibbles my hand when she wants to be put down again. She eats A LOT. My fridge is like a vegan paradise and she's already getting used to the sound of the supermarket vegetable bags being taken out.
To put it simply: she is utterly delightful.

I'll Let the Music Speak For Itself

2011-05-11T16:17:00.005+10:00

Music - Tommy Four Seven 'G'

2011-04-14T13:50:00.005+10:00

Really enjoying his new album - Primate - right now. I respect the way that he has created this music without using synthesisers or indeed any conventional instruments - instead favouring field recordings and 'found sounds' to create every sound. Does anyone else remember sampling and the effort we used to put into making them?

What To Think, What To Say, What To Do?

2011-03-18T14:01:00.005+11:00

A week now after the earthquake struck off the coast of Japan - a week of almost unimaginable devastation and misery for the country. Horrific tsunamis, an escalating nuclear crisis and all I have been able to do is stay tuned to 'the news' here in the hope of hearing some positive turn of events. Feeling so useless, all I can do is hope. All there is is hope.
The Japanese are the most wonderful people I have ever had the fortune to encounter and be amongst. I love the country and a fairly recent visit had me wishing it was possible for me to live there. In the face of this dreadful disaster, there are extraordinary stories circulating that highlight the 'kokoro' (heart and soul) of these considerate people - stories of caring and sharing that put most other Western cultures to shame.
I wait with baited breath and (though I'm not religious) am praying that things will take a turn for the better.

I Hope Things Get Better Soon

2011-03-15T00:01:00.008+11:00

(image from lost in stasis and I crave ballet

Some BJM Bliss

2011-03-07T23:20:00.005+11:00

The Brian Jonestown Massacre is, without a doubt, my favourite rock'n' roll band in the universe. On first listenings, it may seem as if they are doing a kind of pastiche of early Stones, Byrds, Beatles (with a hint of Spacemen 3) and other psychedelic bands, but they are so much more than this. I really admire the way that they keep it so real, raw and sexy and the fact that they are so generous in making their work available to the public.
I've only just heard this track, which is apparently a 'work in progress', but it's as gorgeous as usual - and the video? Just wonderful.
TBJM always manage to sound fresh and uplifting, even at their grungiest. They appear to really live their music, which often sounds as if it could fall apart at any moment - it's so dangerously chaotic in a way. The playing is so natural, it's as if these guys breathe their music. Lifts my spirits every single time.
Nobody should be without at least one of their records.

My Love Affair With Japanese Culture Continues

2011-03-05T16:53:00.007+11:00

Just love those hairdos and colour combos in the '60s one and the big fluffy animals in the Red Riding Hood one. Also, I can vouch for the fact that the candy is delicious!

In The Meantime ......

2011-02-26T14:50:00.001+11:00

Apologies reader(s), but I'm just flat-out busy right now. Won't be much longer.

2010 In Review

2010-12-27T14:23:00.014+11:00

I'll try to be as brief as I can here - reflecting on the events of 2010 that have stood out in my world. Besides the health challenges, job loss and tragedies, musically-speaking it has been a year of refining the processes of my own music-making, in terms of learning valuable new techniques and of gleaning inspiration from others working in similar fields. I'll start by discussing some of the international acts I have had the good fortune to see/hear in Sydney and my favourite releases.

Shackleton LIVE @ The Civic Underground March 13 To appreciate Shackleton's music, it is useful to leave any idea of genre behind. With clearly established links to what is now called 'dubstep', his sound is so much broader and experimental than this. Landscapes that seem to be built up out of disassociated motifs of global cultures, pushing out of between-station radio static, weaving around lush and complex percussion and bass in a deep and satisfyingly rich sound sculpture. You can forget yourself while dancing to Shackleton's wonderful and unique music.

Derrick May @ 202 Broadway April 18 The only time I've been to this venue, an ex-Bank, upstairs was airy - with comfortable seating and air con, a big, round bar and local DJs (who were all very good, though I'm afraid I don't recall their names). However, downstairs in the old bank vault may have seemed like a cute idea for main acts, but it was stifling and uncomfortable - a typical problem in Sydney venues. I had to keep reminding myself of May's 'legendary' status, because the music he played was very 'party oriented' and funky - well, for my taste anyway. Watching him work the turntables was interesting though, because it seemed so effortless - his movements were almost like natural extensions of his arms! However, as an end-of-summer party, the crowd seemed very happy with the night's offerings.

Scuba @ The Civic Underground July 23 Scuba's set was not Live and, after turning up and realising he was DJ'ing, I rather wished I'd opted for Deadbeat up at Phoenix Bar instead. I felt this was a fairly lacklustre gig and, apart from a few highlights early on - for example, the crowd reacted very positively when he played Mt Kimbie's 'Maybes' remix, a fairly by-the-book affair.

Surgeon @ The Forum October 23 Had been really looking forward to this one, but it turned out to be rather so-so. Surgeon's DJ set was 3 hours long (with only one toilet break!) and reflected his Fabric #53 release. In fact, he has made the set available for download on his own blog
here.
Underneath the tracklist, there is a link to the music.
This was a powerful set - if somewhat relentless - but The Forum is not a favoured venue. Having nowhere to sit comfortably is just annoying - as was the use of strobe lights facing the audience and continuing for much of the performance. Kind of tacky.

Pantha Du Prince LIVE @ The Civic Underground December 18 Although I love PDP's 2010 release, 'Black Noise', I hadn't held it in particularly high regard due to the fact that, after blowing me away in 2007 with his idiosyncratic and hauntingly beautiful 'This Bliss', it seemed like he was still working over familiar ground. However, he really did deliver with this performance. It was perfectly balanced and beautiful from beginning to end and I loved the effect it had on the audience. Rather than the usual yells of approval when the comfort of the kick drum comes back in, Pantha Du Prince, with his wonderfully nuanced, emotionally-charged music, educated as he went and the effect was harmonious. Lovely crowd, beautiful music. What more can you ask for?

There were a few other things, but ....
As far as music purchases this year, it has been a year of buying more vinyl than cds. Wonderful releases from labels Sandwell District, Semantica Records and Blackest Ever Black; Donato Dozzy's 'K' on Further Records; O/V/R, Regis, Dasha Rush's 'Unspoken', RSB's 'Reality Or Nothing' (CH Signal/Function/Silent Servant remixes) and much more. There were some digital downloads - most particularly the Monad series from Stroboscopic Artefacts. Yes, cds were definitely focused on less this year, however some standouts - again, my taste only - are Shed's 'The Traveller', 'Dettmann' (under-acknowledged by critics, I think), Peter van Hoesen's 'Entropic City', Shackleton's Fabric #55 mix and Senking's 'Pong' on Raster-Noton - again, amongst much more. 'Pong' is an especially treasured release this year. The guys at mnml ssgs posted a mix on December 9 by Senking that is based around the album and it's still there to download! And here's a clip of their (totally killer!) track 'V8' from that very album (as also shown on the ssgs site).

RIP Ziggy (1996 to 2010)

2010-12-22T14:54:00.003+11:00

Today is a very sad day. Ziggy, my partner's beloved cat, was put to sleep. After 'the injection', we both had to try to calm ourselves, so sat in the park across the road and just wept. In a mere five weeks, she had transformed from beautiful, healthy, happy and playful to a shadow of herself - almost bald and unable to walk without difficulty - suffering something mysterious (and progressively painful) that we had tried to get to the bottom of as soon as we noticed a few patches of fur missing. Three vets were not able to diagnose anything - instead assuming an allergy or infection due to fleas, which they treated her for, despite the fact that she is routinely treated for fleas. Yesterday, we left her with the vet so that an apparently "more senior and experienced" vet could look at her later on in the day. After his examination, he phoned in the news - an aggressive cancer in her pancreas and liver. So we prepared ourselves last night and made the gloomy trip back to the vet today. She screamed so bad when they were lifting her and giving her a sedative, but she purred gently as we stroked her head carefully and spoke our 'kitty-speak' goodbyes to her.
This photo was taken a couple of weeks ago when she was still able to enjoy my partner's backyard. She appeared to enjoy sitting under my sun umbrella.

Reflections on 2010

2010-12-09T16:09:00.003+11:00

The end of another year and - in my world, at least - a crazy one. Let's see. Strange illnesses for both myself and my partner that, over the course of the year and with numerous visits to various doctors and specialists, still only received partial diagnoses. A mysterious one for the cat now too. She has been losing her fur rapidly over the last five weeks and, so far, three vets and (several hundred dollars) have failed to give any satisfactory diagnosis, other than guesswork. We're waiting to see if antibiotics help but, in the meantime, she's looking like the zombie cat from hell and is acting fairly dejected, despite having a normal appetite. Oh, and yes. My job (of 10 years and 2 months) was "migrated" to Malaysia. 2 months of unemployment so far and, with savings already being dipped into, it's looking as if Xmas will be a relatively lean affair. Such is life, I guess.

And with the world? Australia went to the polls in August and we received a hung federal parliament, with the incumbent Labour party returning by a mere nudge - through the backing of key independents. Voters no longer seem to understand the differences between parties and what they stand for. People protest vote. They vote against parties and not for anyone. A general indifference pervades, as well as an alarming adherence to the sound bite-style opinions espoused by the tabloid media. Does anyone actually read any more? Somehow, I'm feeling vulnerable and more than a little unnerved about what might prevail in the future. A new totalitarianism? Shudder....
While I have never believed that the internet would necessarily make us all dumber, the way we receive information these days is very fragmented and it's more of a challenge to get to the truth. The question worth asking here is: Are we bothering?

LPF

2010-11-23T21:06:00.002+11:00

Year of the Dog

2010-10-06T23:11:00.003+11:00

Today In The Gardens

2010-09-19T18:42:00.007+10:00

--There were quite a few people standing around this tree - all taking photos of the big white Cockatoos that were all over its upper branches but not many flowers left --

The Daily-Bread Days

2010-09-08T15:36:00.008+10:00

"Ennui is the echo in us of time tearing itself apart"
(E.M. Cioran)
I can't do anything much lately. There's the cold that won't completely go away, accompanied by the headache that won't quit either. Not sleeping, but dozing on and off all night and into the next day. Trying to get some music pieces finished and I still haven't been 'given the broom' in relation to my paid job. Any day now...... In the meantime, I'm just moving through the days....

Dancing

2010-08-29T13:20:00.008+10:00

Looking at the city from my cube of a backyard. It's so open and exposed to the elements there - the view of the city constantly changing in accordance with the varying light and weather - often reflecting my states of mind. At times, the buildings are obscured in haze or fog. In the evenings, I like to make the lights dance a bit, by moving my camera very slightly, like in this photo from the other night (though it should really be shown much larger than I can do here).

Some Food For Thought On The Eve of a Federal Election (yes, it does matter where your vote goes!)

2010-08-20T20:43:00.009+10:00

"CAPITALISM REMAINS A FORMIDABLE DESIRING MACHINE. THE MONETARY FLUX, THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION, OF MANPOWER, OF NEW MARKETS, ARE ALL THE FLOW OF DESIRE. IT'S ENOUGH TO CONSIDER THE SUM OF CONTINGENCIES AT THE ORIGIN OF CAPITALISM TO SEE TO WHAT DEGREE IT HAS BEEN A CROSSROADS OF DESIRE, AND THAT ITS INFRASTRUCTURE, EVEN ITS ECONOMY, HAS BEEN INSEPARABLE FROM THE PHENOMENON OF DESIRE. AND FASCISM TOO - ONE MUST SAY THAT IT HAS 'ASSUMED THE SOCIAL DESIRES,' INCLUDING THE DESIRE OF REPRESSION AND DEATH. PEOPLE GET HARD-ONS FOR HITLER, FOR THE BEAUTIFUL FASCIST MACHINE. BUT WAS CAPITALISM REVOLUTIONARY IN ITS BEGINNINGS, HAS THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION EVER COINCIDED WITH SOCIAL REVOLUTION? NO, I DON'T THINK SO. CAPITALISM HAS BEEN TIED FROM BIRTH TO A SAVAGE REPRESSIVENESS; IT HAD ITS ORGANISATION OF POWER AND ITS STATE APPARATUS FROM THE START. DID CAPITALISM IMPLY DISSOLUTION OF THE PREVIOUS SOCIAL CODES AND POWERS? CERTAINLY. BUT IT HAS ALREADY ESTABLISHED ITS WHEELS OF POWER, INCLUDING ITS POWER OF CLASS IN THE FISSURES OF PREVIOUS REGIMES. IT IS ALWAYS THE SAME: THINGS ARE NOT SO PROGRESSIVE; EVEN BEFORE A SOCIAL FORMATION IS ESTABLISHED, ITS INSTRUMENTS OF EXPLOITATION AND REPRESSION ARE ALREADY THERE, STILL TURNING IN A VACUUM, READY TO WORK FULL CAPACITY. THE FIRST CAPITALISTS ARE LIKE WAITING BIRDS OF PREY. THEY WAIT FOR THEIR MEETING WITH THE WORKER, WITH THE ONE WHO DROPS THROUGH THE CRACKS OF THE PRECEDING SYSTEM. IN EVERY SENSE THIS IS WHAT ONE CALLS PRIMITIVE ACCUMULATION."

- Felix Guattari (excerpt from Capitalism: A Very Special Delirium, 'Hatred of Capitalism/A Semiotext(e) Reader' 2001) -

Roll On Springtime

2010-08-13T16:13:00.005+10:00

Not much else to say right now - just looking forward to things being a bit warmer. Sick of being cold. Sick of having a cold - 3 weeks so far and I still haven't shaken it. People are whingeing all over the net about this particular lurgy and many ask: "Is this some new type of super-virus?" Others say they'd prefer the flu. Anyway, the jasmine will be out in a couple of weeks and the buds will follow. Just hanging in for now. Will post more shortly.

Spare Change

2010-08-07T13:36:00.005+10:00

It's become increasingly common to see people begging on Sydney's streets - often accompanied by pets and partners. Somehow, I feel a bit awkward bringing this issue up here - even a bit guilty - as if I'm somehow exploiting the fact. But then again, it's just something I've noticed for quite a while now and it brings up mixed reactions in me.
The first time I noticed someone sitting on the street, holding up - as they usually do - a cardboard sign with details of their plight, was around 1995. He was a fairly young guy - kind of bedraggled - and his sign said that he had been offered a job in Melbourne and was trying to raise the fare to travel there and take it up as soon as possible. A couple of months later, I saw him again - with exactly the same sign. Huh? I was out and about with a DAT recorder at the time, recording 'vox pops' for a university radio project I was undertaking. Without really thinking beyond my mission to record people's opinions and thoughts on the street, I fronted up to him with my microphone and asked him what had happened with the job he'd been offered, saying that I'd noticed him those months earlier. He was furious with me and basically told me to get lost. Instantly, I realised that his sign was merely a front for a new type of scam and I felt foolish. I also felt like a bitch.
When I see people begging, I have to admit that I somehow feel resentful of them. But why? While I try to be a compassionate, non-judgmental person, clearly I am judging these people and I am forced to question myself. I guess it's partly because it seems undignified, when we have a social security system that provides modest living expenses for those who, for whatever reason, can't provide for themselves. It's also irritating because I can see that, for most of them, they are clearly just supporting drug habits and their signs belie this truth. Also, I recently saw an article on TV about one such beggar - who, rather than holding up a sign, crouches on his splayed knees outside the main entrance to the Myer department store with his head down and arms outstretched, holding a cap - in which it was revealed he makes $50,000 per annum. WTF! I guess it also bugs me to see people fall for it - helping it to rapidly become such a lucrative option - appealing to people's sense of pity and guilt in relation to their own comfortable lifestyles, whilst giving them a sense of gratification that they're 'giving something back' - in turn feeling better about themselves when they toss a coin down.
What is most disturbing about all this really is my bourgeois reaction - in that it bothers me at all and that I'm even writing about it here. However, to be fair, much of my reaction is due to the fact that this begging doesn't actually change anything. It doesn't change the fact that the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer. It doesn't change society or the system and its inequalities and injustices. It doesn't make taxpayers feel less resentful about their money being used to support those who can't (or won't) find work. It's more just a part of (indeed a result of) the system itself.
From now on, I'm shifting my thinking. If someone wants to beg all day and makes good money, all power to them!

Nothingness

2010-07-25T14:45:00.003+10:00

I pinched this picture from what seemed a curiously unlikely blog source.

Another Thought From 'The Streets'

2010-07-21T17:54:00.005+10:00

... quite artistic really, don't ya think?

Here's An Idea

2010-07-15T12:28:00.004+10:00

And Now ... pt 3 and ......

2010-07-14T18:32:00.013+10:00

OK, so I've been time-poor lately. There's been a lot to grapple with. My partner's been really sick with a bizarre and horrendously discomforting rare disease and my editing job of the past 10 years is being "migrated" to Malaysia sometime in the next couple of weeks. It's impossible to find anything else suitable to apply for.
Of course, I don't have any substantial 'connections' either and that's what it appears to be about these days. The cliche idea that hard work will be rewarded remains a myth to all but a few. It was certainly a cruel irony to be told they would've made their move earlier, if not for the "exceptional quality" of my work. There's no redundancy payment in my case either - the 'casual' status of my position has seen to that.
Considering it all, unemployment seems like a nice idea - for a while, at least - but it's going to be strange also. For the past 10 years, I've done my work - the work I do best - at least 15 hours a week for 52 weeks of each year. It's worked in to the structure of my life.

Despite the fact that the film festival is kind of dissolving in my memory, I thought I'd just give an abbreviated overview of the remaining films.
A Somewhat Gentle Man was really quite wonderful. Norwegian cinema has been producing some nice work recently (2008's 'Let The Right One In' immediately springs to mind!) and this film was no exception. Ulrik, just released from jail after doing time for murder, is back in town and his old gangster boss immediately closes in around him, encouraging him to take revenge. His son is about to become a father, he continually has to dodge his landlady's sexual advances and the girl he fancies at work has a violent boyfriend he must eventually contend with. Ulrik is a great character - and this film was an excellent study in characters generally - a most satisfying movie.
The Killer Inside Me was a film I was really looking forward to. An adaptation of Jim Thompson's pulp novel by Michael Winterbottom, it's about a cop with a bent on killing. Unfortunately, this film was a let-down. I found Casey Affleck irritating in the title role - not just his sociopath character, but his voice-over. The whole thing made me seriously wonder whether Micheal Winterbottom could possibly be a misogynist (especially when considered in light of his other films). There were a few bright moments, but ultimately - and most disappointingly - this film was forgettable and had a jaded feel to it. There were no characters to feel sympathetic towards and be interested in, because none were developed.
The Ghost Writer was next and strongly anticipated in its premiere showing. Despite my being a big Roman Polanski fan and although this film - about a ghost writer (Ewan McGregor) assigned to an ex-British Prime Minister (Pierce Brosnan) after the death of his previous ghost writer - was perfectly-directed, sleek and classy - even witty at times, it came across as a fairly stock-standard political thriller. That said however, the wit was interesting in its extra-textual references to the Blairs and even Polanski himself. Interesting to see Kim Cattrall (of 'Sex and the City' fame) in a decent role for a change and also to see Olivia Williams again (after her role as Ian Dury's wife in 'Sex and Drugs and Rock 'n Roll' - reviewed earlier) cast as the ex-PM's wife.
Hesher was the final film for me this year. This was a US production directed by Sydneysider, Spencer Susser and was basically a film about grief. After the tragic death of his mother, TJ - along with his dad and grandmother - are stagnating in this grief, until a heavy-metal stanger/loner (Hesher) gatecrashes his way into their home and lives. This film is spruiked as "Flipping its middle finger firmly at post-trauma family drama ... (and avoiding) sentimentality in favour of anarchic transformation." OK, but the guy was just an obnoxious slob who pushed his way into a family's home and lobbed there, taking advantage of the fact that they are all in shell-schocked individual states. And we're supposed to laugh at - and therefore condone - his peurile indulgences and destructive outbursts, simply because he irritates to the point of knocking the family out of their fog. WTF? Is the guy Jesus? The audience certainly seemed to take to him. I don't know. Somehow, I found the whole thing a bit creepy.

Film Festival Round-up (pt 2)

2010-06-30T17:36:00.009+10:00

Life During Wartime was the next movie on the calendar. This was - hands-down - the best film I saw in this year's festival. Todd Solondz's sequel/variation of his 1998 jaw-dropping classic, Happiness, reintroduced us to the three sisters central to the original story - in a post-September 11, suburban United States. I don't know how Solondz manages to venture into such dark territories while still managing to provoke laughter from audiences. There are many cringeworthy moments, such as the 'have-it-all' mother (who, in Happiness, had her world turned upside down after discovering her psychiatrist husband was a paedophile) arriving home from a first date, filled with excitement and hope for a future with her new beau, discussing how it went with her own young son, telling him - with barely-contained enthusiasm - that he had made her "wet". Thankfully, the boy didn't yet realise what this meant and, upon finishing her rapturous spiel about the date, he asked "Are you still wet, Mom?" And there was also the discussion with the same son after he asks "Mom, what is a paedophile?" Priceless. But don't let what I've given away put you off. This film maker is hardly condoning such perversions. Alternatively, he has somehow carved a path through all the hysteria, and found an avenue for comedy there. Solondz displays an amazing understanding of dysfunction - in all its flavours - and the lives of the lonely and misunderstood (or just plain sociopathic) deftly - with humour, empathy and maturity - without making value judgments. Isn't this the role of storytellers anyway? He is known as a controversial film maker - no doubt because of elements of his subject matter - but one who should be taken much more seriously, in my opinion.

Lemmy was next - a documentary about (and starring) Lemmy, the enigmatic lead singer/bass guitarist of legendary punk/metal band Motorhead. He is a fascinating subject and character and seemingly all-round nice guy. There were good interviewees reflecting on their experiences with him (thankfully Bono wasn't in attendance this time!). The music was also great and I was riveted throughout. However, there was a 'cobbled-together' feel to this film and it was a bit long. About 25 minutes before the end, it seemed to be winding down to a conclusion, but instead jolted us right back in again.

The Runaways was one of the most disappointing films this year - and probably the worst I saw. I had been pumped to see this docu-drama about Joan Jett's '70s glam/punk rock girl band, but for all the attitude the music had, the film focused almost entirely on the exploitation of the girls by manager, Kim Fowley. Admittedly, I hadn't initially realised that the film was based on singer, Cherie Currie's autobiography, which I haven't read. Also, the music - as I remembered it - was much crappier than this sounded and that was a big part of its charm. Basically, the film seemed to be going more for the glamour and melodrama than anything else and was quite carelessly gratuitous in places. I got the feeling that the huge, enraptured audience were more interested in the fact that Kirsten Stewart (as Jett) and Dakota Fanning (as Currie) were the stars - and particularly the scene or two where they kissed and fondled one another.
Four more films left - for pt 3...... coming soon.

In the meantime......

2010-06-27T16:46:00.007+10:00

.....browsing the net for old music that I still respect and love very much, try these gems from the late '70s:

Film Festival Round-up (pt 1)

2010-06-26T16:47:00.006+10:00

10 films in a couple of weeks at the Sydney Film Festival. There were some surprises and disappointments. For some reason, I feel compelled to write a bit about this year's lot so, as promised, here's a bit of a round-up of how they came across to me.
First up was Beautiful Darling - a documentary about Candy Darling - glittering figure in New York's '60s bohemia and inspiration to Lou Reed ("Candy came from out of the Island..."), Andy Warhol, Tennessee Williams and Robert Mappelthorpe. Born James Slattery in Long Island, Candy created a star persona that belied an impoverished and often lonely existence. She found fame in Warhol's Flesh (1968) and Women in Revolt (1971), but yearned for the glamour of a Hollywood career. Fellow 'Factory' actors Holly Woodlawn, Jackie Curtis and Penny Arcade are interviewed, as are 'Factory' affiliates Paul Morrissey and Fran Leibowitz. Leibowitz gives the best insights here, but unfortunately Candy was a fairly facile subject for a film and I left the movie with a sense that it hadn't been much more than another exercise in raking over the corpse of the Warhol empire which, despite its significance at the time, just seems more and more vampiric as time moves on. There was too much of this. The film did get me thinking about transexuality and the whole realm of gender identity (and displacement) again though. Also, I suppose Candy (who ended up dying of lymphoma at a young age) would be wrapped to know a film had been made about her. All up, a fairly standard doco, but I wanted more about Candy herself and her struggles with her identity and the recognition of her sexuality. Nice diary excerpts read by Chloe Sevigny and reflections from her devoted and longstanding friend, Jeremiah Newton. This film screened after a great short, Last Address, which simply showed the exteriors of New York apartments of recently-departed NY artists and cultural luminaries, who had succumbed to AIDS. This was simple and powerful in its effect.
Next, was Howl - a docu-drama about Allen Ginsberg, around the time of the publication of his poem of the same name and the subsequent indecency trial it stirred. This was well-handled, with wonderful animation sequences that served to make the words of the poem come alive. Personally, I'd found the poem inpenetrable when I read it. Here, they were reinvigorated and beautiful.
Big surprise was Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll, a docu-drama about the life story of Ian Dury, the foul-mouthed 70s rocker, who had been infected with polio as a child. I thought this would be so-so, but was most pleasantly surprised. Andy Serkis, in the title role, was completely believable as Dury. On the whole, the film was loud and profane, but nicely put together and it didn't lack complexity and heart. As a subject, Dury proved to be complex, smart and interesting. Very entertaining.
That's it for today. I'll post pt 2 sometime in the next couple of days.

Film Season

2010-06-12T13:12:00.003+10:00

Yes, I've been distracted again - busy with my annual indulgence, the Sydney Film Festival. So many films in such a short period of time, they can tend to blur into one another at times. But it's fun. So far this year, I've seen a bunch of docu-dramas and straight documentaries about music, literary and otherwise fabulous types and some dramas.
I'm thinking that I'll post some reviews this time around, but will do them next week when the festival winds up.
Until then......

The Animal Inside

2010-05-13T13:28:00.005+10:00

I've been reading some fascinating stuff about love in the animal world and how linked it is to madness.
Michel Foucault says it's really the feeling of animality within ourselves which drives us crazy, makes us happy and makes us sad and that this spirit of celebration is so complete in itself.
Also, I read about the relationship that exists between a certain orchid and a bee - the huge wasp of New Guinea. Apparently, the orchid smells like female genitalia (of the wasp), so the bee goes straight at it and makes love to the plant. He rubs his stinger against it. Then the female bee smells his odour and comes and rubs herself in it, in her turn. This is how she is impregnated - through the plant. So strange in that the couple themselves only meet through the plant. How's that for a love story?

For some reason(??), this all reminded me of an old SPK (definitive band from the so-called 'industrial' era) album - 'Zamia Lehmanni - Songs of Byzantine Flowers' - from around 1986 and quite different from some of their more confronting earlier noise music. So to follow up on my last post, here's another 'YouTuber' - In Flagrante Delico from that album.

While thinking about SPK, I found a pretty good spiel describing their work in 'Discogs'. For your information, here it is:
Review by Crijevo Oct 12, 2003
Of most true industrial groups to emerge in the late seventies, SPK (the name abbreviated for various formations), alongside Throbbing Gristle, caused fair share of headaches to standard musical establishment, irrationally attacking those areas where their psycho-medical audio-visual research hurt the most. By exposing all sorts of socio-political deviances, SPK created a wall of noise that despite such disturbing imagery creates an environment where music by all means is stripped down to potential energy, a hybrid, the chaos. From science to ritual, from noise to sophistication, SPK created an impressive body of work, ranging from military/noise merchants to the finest ambiental music collection. Their early catalogue is highly recommended although there should be a warning regarding the listener's hearing range because some sounds are produced at such extreme level which are not that easily absorbed. But these sounds are way ahead of their time and for that we hail to SPK. The Sick, the Sinister, the Socialist, the Sexual, the Splintered, the Situationist, the Sad, the Serial, the Smart.

Words Of Advice

2010-05-07T13:03:00.009+10:00

There's nothing like an insightful excerpt from William Burroughs to warm the cockles and help kick-start your day - especially when he's using his own idiosyncratic voice. Here's some very sagely advice that's always worth keeping in the back of one's mind. Btw, the music is by Material, but as to the poster of this 'YouTube' (a 'BaronSCameron') - I have no idea. Enjoy!

Your Little Golden Books Never Looked Like This

2010-04-14T18:32:00.005+10:00

This painting is by Mark Ryden and is a fairly typical example of his art. I love the way he takes traditional images of innocence from a bygone era - such as sweet little girls in their old-fashioned party dresses, with cute, cuddly toy companions - and turns them into something disturbingly lascivious and kind of nightmarish - sexualising them, albeit in a ridiculous way.
I remember having toys like this. Little fluffy things with rubber faces and big blue eyes. Check out the little elephant.

Alien World

2010-04-08T12:21:00.003+10:00

Should I be afraid to step outside my backdoor?

Blog World

2010-03-03T13:27:00.004+11:00

Yes, I'm fully aware of it - the months have rolled by and I've posted nothing. Of course, I have a thousand excuses, such as time constraints and distractions, but I have to admit that I basically haven't had anything to say (which might seem a stretch, considering the amount of ranting I do here).
Most other blogs I read are about something - ie they have a theme of some sort. In turn, they appear to be the most popular. In contrast, this blog is about nothing in particular. It's basically a diary - a place where I can note things that spring to mind, post photos or images (my own or otherwise) that convey a theme or my mood and just generally use as an online space for reflection. Wasn't that the idea of 'blogging' in its original form anyway?
I have considered focusing on one of my main interests - electronic music - here, but others - notably, for example, mnml ssgs - do it so much better than I could and focus on the styles and artists that appeal to me the most these days.
In the meantime, I will continue the "when the mood strikes" approach, but will try to be more frequent and spontaneous.

Zzzzzzzz...........

2009-12-30T17:47:00.011+11:00

(painting by Audrey Kawasaki)

NYE tomorrow. Sometimes this part of the year gets to me more than others - and it certainly is this time around.
A sense of being at a loose end, despite having masses to do and things I've left unattended for way too long. A lack of energy and yet I'm generally feeling antsy - almost tearing-my-hair-out antsy. Two days waiting for a table to be delivered, so I can reorganise my studio, yet it hasn't arrived. Will it turn up tomorrow? Or do I have to spend another entire day at home - waiting?

On Saturday, I unfortunately had to go to town - a major mistake of course, considering it was Boxing Day and opening day of the sales. These days, the God of Mammon is certainly bigger than Jesus, especially over the Christmas period! Streets were packed like sardines - no exaggeration. One entire block was completely jammed with an all-Asian crowd (yep! not one white Australian to be seen), waiting outside an expensive watch shop and 'Hermes' - their arms full of 'Prada', 'Gucci' and 'Louis Vuitton'-emblazoned shopping bags. At a pedestrian crossing, a tall, bored-looking tourist kicked a pigeon away pompously with his booted foot, after noticing it was near him as he made to cross the road - as if it was nothing more than a piece of garbage.

Trying to negotiate my way through this sardine can city to a couple of places was sheer hell - almost impossible. At one point I was forcefully shoved by an oncoming woman - difficult to see properly, as she was closely in tow behind her boyfriend - when we had opted for the street gutter at the same time. I was determined not to brush them with my umbrella or body as we squeezed past each other, but then - THE SHOVE! My body was heaved into a parked taxi - sharply. I quickly turned around with a "You fucking bitch!" retort, only to immediately see that she was a good 6 months pregnant. Indignant, they both abused me back, telling me to watch where I was going. I told them I was, but they continued - defensively glancing at her swollen belly and then at the surge of stoned-looking consumers moving past in both directions, who then stared at me as if I was the devil with their vagued-out eyes . Enough! I turned and moved away. I hate people sometimes.

And now, to twenty-ten. Let's hope it's a good one.
Cheers.

That Time Of Year Again

2009-12-24T00:34:00.005+11:00

Another year winding up and I find myself more time-poor than ever.
Since I live very close to the city centre, I get to see the worst of what comes with the end of year meltdown in Sydney town. Sweltering weather, sunburnt tourists, inebriated people everywhere and the usual orgies of over-consumption. And then there are the music and arts festivals......
Anyway, I'll try to do some posting when I can and I should warn you that I'm going to start putting some music tracks up shortly as well - some tracks of mine and a friend's. - just some things we've been working on (most likely more of his, due to my work commitments). They're available for public listening and download on fairtilizer under the names Hieronymous and Onni in the meantime.

Club-life in Sydney town

2009-11-15T06:25:00.011+11:00

Going out to hear techno or house music in Sydney - it's such a weird scene. 20 years here and I've never quite worked it out - why this glittering party town has a hold on me? Why I hate and love it and why it can make me so lonely.
If I make the decision to go to an electronic music event, I must also prepare myself for an ordeal. Sometimes it goes well. Sometimes it doesn't. If it's at night, it'll go all night and if it's in the day, it'll likely go on all day - and usually in the blazing sunshine. Almost always, these events include multiple acts and are akin to endurance exercises. But sometimes, you get surprised and bump into fun.
Sydney's a place where you can be anonymous and just blend in, which is one of the reasons I remain here. Generally, it's a place where people move in, make money, invest money and leave. Other people grow up here and move on. A few of us stay.
Anyway, in the early hours of this morning, I ventured out to the 'Berlin Sessions' at the Civic Hotel.
Walking into the ground-level crowd that was cramming into the space and jiggling to Ame's dj set, my heart sank. Slightly aggressive vibe, too many people. Suddenly, it seems that tech-house is the new mainstream. I moved on and found the 'underground' area, catching Benji Frohlich playing an eclectic set that blended various styles rather effortlessly. He pulled it off, but then the crowd was sufficiently hyped anyway. Initially, I cynically assumed they would've probably kept dancing to an agitator washing machine, as long as it had kick drum breaks. However, Benji's set was consistent enough to win me over in the end.
Next up was the act that had drawn me to this gig - Move D - appearing for his first time in Sydney and playing Live. It was just after 3am and considering the punchiness of the preceding set, compared to the subtle, complex deepness of D's music, I wasn't sure how the (now thinning) crowd would respond. They did look a little confused at first, but slowly warmed (How could they not? They were in skilled hands). I noted that most people were actually listening! And then, when a break came, the crowd was fully reassured and, by now, convinced. It was wonderful, but one hour wasn't long enough. I didn't want this spell to be broken, because it seemed like it had only just begun. I didn't stay for the Ame vs Move D dj set, due to begin at 5am, because I was exhausted (why Sydney must make all-nighters out of anything vaguely techno is truly beyond me and not always appropriate).
And so to home, 'Songs From the Beehive' and bed after another night out in Sydney town.

Devolution

2009-10-29T16:06:00.006+11:00

moving...

...

2009-10-29T16:04:00.004+11:00

closer...

....

2009-10-29T16:02:00.005+11:00

and closer...

......

2009-10-29T16:00:00.004+11:00

into the blur

Just a normal night in...

2009-09-16T22:29:00.003+10:00

Pussy Face

2009-09-02T22:16:00.003+10:00

- this is Ziggy

Quote of the Day

2009-08-13T15:58:00.007+10:00

I'm a huge fan of the work of Fernando Pessoa. 'The Book of Disquiet' is one of those books I can just dip into whenever I feel the urge and the words nearly always resonate with whatever's going on in my own head. Here's one such excerpt I pulled up earlier:
"I have never loved anybody. What I have loved the most are my feelings - states of conscious viscosity, impressions of a quick ear, smells which are a means, for the humility of the external world, to speak to me, to talk to me about the past (so easily recalled by smells), that is to provide me with more reality, more emotions than a mere loaf of bread cooking at the back of an old bakery, as on that distant afternoon when I was coming back from the burial of an uncle who loved me deeply, and when I felt the sweetness of a minor appeasement, from what I have no idea.
That is my morality, or my metaphysics, in other words, what I am: the ultimate Passer-by, of everything and even of my soul: I belong to nothing, desire nothing, am nothing - an abstract centre of impersonal feelings, a sensitive mirror fallen by chance and pointed towards the diversity of the world. After all that, I have no idea if I am happy or unhappy: it is of little or no importance to me.

The Ugliness of Perfection

2009-07-30T16:53:00.009+10:00

Here's a trend that really irks me - plastic surgery for cosmetic purposes. Whether it's cosmetic 'enhancements' such as eyelid scraping, brow lifts, lip fillers, facelifts, nose jobs, collagen injections, laser skin treatments, breast augmentation or botox, it just perpetuates the very dodgy idea of a perfect beauty and the idea that normal signs of ageing are flaws - ie unattractive - so must therefore be erased.

But just what is it that's really going on here? Fear of death? Fear of being unloved, unattractive and unwanted simply because of being (and looking) older? Fear that we are nothing unless we conform to some conformist idea of exterior beauty - throughout our existence - with our faces frozen in the look of our youth or altered to resemble the perceived perfection of our superstar idols' appearances? Surely, this is a shallow view. You'd think that as we grow older, we would grow stronger and wiser in character. So just what is wrong with reflecting this on the outside? Why is it that we only perceive beauty in youthful faces and bodies?

To my thinking, unless we are hideously disfigured - by birth or accident - or so heavy in the breasts that it is a burden on our skeletons, this search for (apparent) perfection is a very disturbing trend indeed. Even worse, is that women's magazines now discuss cosmetic enhancement in much the same way as skin care products and makeup - that is, as a part of women's general upkeep. Unfortunately, more and more people are turning to these procedures. They're routinely shown on tv makeover shows as ways to gain confidence. However, I don't want to live in a world where most people pay a fortune to erase signs of age and the rest of us are judged as hideous, simply because we don't conform to such stereotypes of beauty. In that world, everyone is looking more and more alike anyway. And this is hardly a triumph for women - to be spending their hard-earned cash on erasing the signs of their lives. Although only the wealthy can really afford this sort of thing, of course it's spreading to the rest of the population who, unhappy with the apparent insignificance of their own existences, aim to be just like their wealthy celebrity idols. The proliferation of celebrity tv shows and magazines only perpetuates this. If only I had Angelina Jolie's lips, I would feel so much more confident and desirable. Blah! Many of the results of cosmetic surgery procedures leave much to be desired anyway.

We are all going to die. We are born, we grow, we bloom and form relationships with others and hopefully grow wiser and more beautiful as we learn who we are and try to better ourselves as human beings. I am all for the idea of looking and feeling the best that we can for our ages, but maybe we should be focusing on our health instead - what we're eating, what we're thinking and what we're doing with our lives. If we just can't get happy with who we are, we should see a shrink or, at least, find something to do.

R.I.P. Micky Barry (4 February 1961 - 16 June 2009)

2009-06-25T17:32:00.006+10:00

Another month rolls by and I had, of course, intended to write about a couple of luminary figures who passed away fairly recently. Nonetheless, my distractions continued and last week there was a bombshell. I was informed that my friend Micky - who I have known since 1980 - passed away in Brisbane, after a brief - but difficult - battle with cancer.
I am not going to talk details of his illness here. I only wish to say that Micky was one of the very best (isn't it always the best ones?) - probably the brightest person I have ever met - brilliantly smart, well-read, kind, caring and always low-maintenance. He made do with very little and - most impressively - had no concern at all for material things. I spent time with him during a difficult part of my own life - staying with him in northern New South Wales, where he lived simply in the bush for a while. He sincerely cared about Planet Earth and was an amazing gardener who could make anything grow. He put into practice what most people just mouth off about and was the most environmentally-responsible person I have ever met, impressing me greatly with his knowledge of bush craft. His mind was always inquiring - almost child-like. A true Peter Pan - always enthused about what was going on!
Around the time I met him, someone said that he was so smart you could ask him to solve a mathematical puzzle and he would solve it in seconds, without writing anything down. I tried it once - asking him something like: "What's 8,439 divided by 497" and he gave me a correct answer within a couple of seconds.
When I was staying in the bush with him, we had a conversation about death and about people's obsession with leaving legacies - being remembered for things. He told me he aspired to leaving nothing and felt that was the most responsible thing to do - to leave no trace.
This was the sort of man Micky Barry was.
He will be buried tomorrow on his brother's property, around where he used to live - in the bush - as he would've wanted. He will be sadly missed by many people.

Been A Bit Distracted

2009-05-29T13:01:00.007+10:00

Autumn in Sydney. There's been too much to distract myself with - and too much rain. Cut off from the world in my apartmnent building, because someone smashed up our intercom system - two weeks ago. The quotes to replace it are too expensive, apparently. A literary luminary has died - J G Ballard. I'll miss those novels, but there are older ones still to catch up with. An Australian activist died also two or so months ago - Fred cole, the originator of 'BUGA Up' (Billboards Using Graffiti Artists Against Unhealth Promotions), who achieved his goal of banishing tobacco advertising in his lifetime (I'll post more about this later).
In the meantime, there's been so much wonderful music. Some current favourites include:
The Field - 'Yesterday and Today'
Martyn - 'Great Lengths'
Hell - 'Teufelswerk'
Pom Pom - 'Pom Pom'...
...and many more, of course.
Back soon.

Day In The Life

2009-03-26T00:30:00.005+11:00

A day in the life of a wanker
I walked through the city quickly today - with only my missions on my mind. Everything's shabby. A sense of strain. Half of the centre is pretty much gutted - in construction. My favourite bus route - out to one of Sydney's more pleasant inner suburbs. Left-leaning bourgeois leafiness - common sense attitude. I see a specialist. And I see lots of people who bought amazing local houses four decades or so ago. But everyone is really nice.
It's a very sunny day.
Next stop, Redeye Records to treat myself. Yay! Joris Voorn 'Balance' (double cd of seamless, textured blends of contemporary electronic stuff) and 'Fever Ray's debut.
I went running - on my new route - on the road at the top of the hill and away from the rustling of rats. They are getting bigger and bolder. Last week, I noticed some sudden movement in the grass next to the path and saw a rat, presumably about to dart out of the way. But suddenly, it had grabbed onto my foot and was clinging on! Yes, seriously.
I screamed and flung my leg out as I kept running and it flew off. It looked so funny as it flew briefly through the air that I couldn't help laughing, despite the horror of it all.

Telco/Technology Meltdown

2009-03-10T17:39:00.004+11:00

After changing my ISP recently, I unfortunately found myself without properly-functioning internet for several days. Basically, my life shut down. I couldn't work, couldn't contact people, couldn't do anything that I do, because pretty much everything involves my connecting to the net. Instead, I spent my time on the phone (which itself wasn't working for two days), waiting eternities for someone to answer; listening endlessly to moronic, computerised instructions; getting conflicting information and generally having my patience tested to the hilt. At one point, I got into such a state that I actually contemplated suicide (well, almost!). Ridiculous? Maybe. In basically just a decade, so much of our lives depend on this technology - and on technology in general. I've even heard that (apparently anyway) our domestic appliances will eventually all be controlled and synchronised via the internet. Gawd help us all!

Summer Blank

2009-02-10T23:05:00.006+11:00

Yes, I've been neglecting this blog lately. First, it was the distraction of the festive season and then the oppressive humidity of January, turning that month into nothing more than a blank. With Sydney in party mode en masse, somehow everything is geared to this time of year. Every music group and performance artist you had been dying to see for years all turn up at once - to perform, along with dozens of others, at numerous daytime events where, if you should be so inclined to attend, you swelter in the sun as you try to catch the acts you love and hope they don't overlap on different stages.
Temperatures can soar to over 40 degrees and can be accompanied by a hair dryer-like wind that burns as it blows. Forget gentle, cooling breezes. This feels more like some kind of radiation, which burns your skin in minutes and can even be felt through open windows when indoors. It's insane to walk around outside, of course, unless covered in long sleeves, hat, parasol or, at the very least, slathered in 30+. But everywhere, hordes of people are out and about, apparently loving it. When shopping for groceries in the evenings, I see many people - especially young tourists - seemingly oblivious to the extreme sunburn they've been afflicted with after a day at the beach. It always looks so painful and I wonder how they can look so calm about it. To make things worse, Daylight Saving extends the daylight hours to last until after 8.30pm (I would suggest Night Saving as a much better option!).

And now, February is turning tragic, with bushfires ravaging Victoria, destroying thousands of homes and lives. With 183 already confirmed dead and countless others injured, the toll is set to rise. Summertime in Australia is what people look forward to through the winter months and what visitors appear to expect.
At least now, it's raining and back to 22 degrees - for a week or so, at least. I feel like I can breathe again.

A is for.....

2008-12-17T12:43:00.003+11:00

I found this list somewhere in an old pile of photocopied material - pretty sure it's copied (and edited) from an old issue of 'Vague' magazine (published in the '80s in the UK). Here goes:

ART An increasingly inadequate substitute for sex
BLOOD BANK Is there any other kind?
THE BORN-AGAIN Twice too often
CIVILISATION The biosphere's skin disease
CLASS WAR The war to end all wars
COUNTER-CULTURE Less of more of the same
COUPLES Monogamy is monotony
CYNICISM Long since surpassed by events
DISEASE Very dangerous. A leading cause of doctors
ELECTIONS Dumbocracy in action
FAITH Fatal
FEMINISM Equality with men? A paltry ambition
FREE TIME Work the boss doesn't pay you for
FULL EMPLOYMENT A threat, not a promise
GOVERNMENT Guns don't kill. Politicians do
GURUS A good mantra is hard to find
HIPPIES Running on empty
JUDGES Doddering despots in clown suits
LAW Crime without punishment
LAWYERS Life-support systems for mouths
THE LEFT Left behind
LEISURE Paying and playing are mutually exclusive
LIBERALS Conservatives with guilty consciences
LIBERTARIANISM All the freedom that money can buy
LIFE AFTER DEATH Why wait?
MARXISM The highest stage of capitalism
MASOCHISM Like taking your work home with you
MYSTICS Have incommunicable insights they won't shut up about
NECROPHILIA A social disease
NIHILISTS Going beyond good and evil, they stopped half-way
PLEASURE Interludes that accentuate pain
POLICE Terrorists with the right credentials
POLITICS Like a pond, the scum rise to the top
PREJUDICE Folk sociology
PROPERTY Is theft and theft is proper
PUNKS Hippies with amnesia
RADIO EVANGELISTS Less aural sects, more oral sex
RELATIONSHIPS Being alone together
RELIGION Deifying your defects
THE RIGHT Wrong
THE 'SCENE' How to be different like everybody else
SEX An increasingly inadequate substitute for masturbation
SOCIALISTS Sheep in wolves' clothing
TEACHERS Outclassed

Rethinking the Rational

2008-11-30T01:55:00.003+11:00

Note:
BTW, I take back any previous suggestion that to be 'rational' is a desirable human trait. My mind isn't quite made up on that one.
I talk such a lot of shit.

Dust

2008-11-30T01:46:00.003+11:00

'I would like to explode, flow, crumble into dust, and my disintegration would be my masterpiece. I would like to melt in the world and for the world to melt..in me..'
- e.m. cioran -

How Could I...

2008-11-30T01:05:00.003+11:00

I tried to look at that Zev performance again and couldn't believe I'd originally liked it. On this viewing, it just seemed pretentious and dull. Would've been best as some kind of background installation. Very low-impact and tired. Almost bored.
But then, maybe that was the point.

Performance by Zev

2008-10-14T17:10:00.005+11:00

I've always enjoyed Zev's music (both recordings and performance) and performance/installation art. As far back as the 1980s (and probably earlier), he has consistently delivered innovative, challenging and relevant work.

Click this link to view a performance that took place in New York yesterday.

Painting by Kukula

2008-09-30T18:19:00.000+10:00

Sensible

2008-09-23T22:57:00.005+10:00

WHERE ARE THE SENSIBLE PEOPLE?
WHAT ABOUT A RATIONAL, AGENDA-FREE, RESPONSIBLE, COMPASSIONATE POINT OF VIEW for a change?
instead of celebrities, politicians and stars
doing all the talking
I WANT TO SEE IT ON THE NEWS NOW

'After The Fire' - painting by Audrey Kawasaki

2008-09-10T18:57:00.001+10:00

- The Art of Audrey Kawasaki -

Keeping Music Evil - The Brian Jonestown Massacre at The Factory (Thurs 28th Aug)

2008-09-02T18:30:00.012+10:00

Anything could’ve happened at this gig - or not happened. Newcomers to the band may be forgiven for focusing on front man/songwriter Anton Newcombe’s reputation as a kind of unhinged, drug-addled genius - especially those who arrived at the music via Ondi Timoner’s (albeit fascinating) 2004 documentary DIG - or dismiss him as a mimic. Whatever way you figure it, one thing's for sure. This is sublimely cool music.
In a career spanning back to around 1990, the band has accrued an impressively large catalogue of releases, featuring a sound that suggests '60s and '70s psychedelia. Think early Stones, The Who, The Byrds and, at times, even The Velvet Underground, Pink Floyd and David Bowie. But the sound is their own and, despite any points of reference, sounds fresh and relevant now as I'm sure it will be in many years to come.

This was the first of two Sydney gigs and an all-ages one. It was Anton's birthday. The 7 band members played for over two hours, with Anton talking and free-associating between songs to the audience and introducing band members. At times, Anton even heckled. We sung 'Happy Birthday' and band members (though not all of them) became progressively wasted, as they passed a bottle of something hard-looking between each other during these breaks. In a recent interview, Anton said that they just like to get drunk and see what happens. I really appreciate that from a music group - the creative, in-the-now approach to playing live (however achieved) - rather than just delivering a perfect set every time - introducing that level of chaos and uncertainty. They seemed to focus on playing their all-out epic, killer songs, including personal favourites from the several BJM cds I own. Somehow, I was transported. It was almost like an out-of-body experience, which lasted for over two blissful hours. I felt like I was being cradled in the arms of long-lost soulmates - in heaven. As if I'd been reunited with my true family, after a lifetime of being alone. Apparently, I was dancing, but I was only aware of the music and of my friend standing close behind me as I kind of floated through the hours. And no, I wasn't intoxicated!

Wonderful playing, but it never lost its rawness and became slick. At times, it actually felt like it could just fall apart, like all the best rock 'n' roll music does. Tambourine man, Joel Gion, serves as a sort of anchor to the music - always beating perfect time and stoically cool in expression, but about midway through songs, I noticed his mouth would have worked its way to being slightly open, with a euphoric smile plastered over it.

A transcendent experience.

Photo credits: Lori Baily

Green

2008-08-25T22:08:00.006+10:00

Getting up the other day, things just didn't feel right - a continuous high-pitched drone clearly audible over the other typical sounds of another daily bread day grinding along. Disturbing dream images lingered. Things seemed out of sorts in the kitchen somehow and outside my living room window too, where I caught a flash of something green, somewhere around the building entrance on the opposite side of the road. Walking over to the window, I looked out and saw a group of people in turtle costumes holding a banner - with the words 'Don't Say Ta Ta To Turtles' boldly emblazoned on it (with 'Greenpeace' logo underneath) - facing the street (and my window) for a photographer.
I guess it's not that strange really.
I guess you had to be there.

Yes, I Had A Wonderful Birthday, Thank You

2008-07-01T23:29:00.003+10:00

Today's State of Mind

2008-05-27T17:45:00.002+10:00

Love Sucks

2008-05-25T14:33:00.009+10:00

And so it goes ....... living the life of a serial monogamist. You get to a certain age and start to wonder if relationships are really worth it - the emotional highs and lows, the laughter, tears, pain and inevitable disappointment, and the ensuing retreat back to being on one's own again. I realise I'm sounding like a tortured cynic, but let's face it - nothing lasts forever.
I used to place so much importance on finding a life companion, but somehow it ends up going wrong. Inevitably, I guess I prefer to live alone, but that hasn't stopped me from blaming myself for not compromising enough for the sake of the other person. But just how much of myself was I expected to subdue?
I'm envious of those people who find someone they click with and keep it together. I wonder if they are just faking and forcing it, or if one is simply compromising all for the sake of the other - and biting their own tongues till there is barely a sliver left.

Without wanting to get all feminist about it, I have perceived that men, in general (no one person in particular), expect their women partners to be endlessly agreeable with them; consistently assertive and hot in bed; always interesting, tender, attentive, caring and reassuring; happy to be around them when they're uncommunicative (focused on tv or otherwise distracted); non-talkative, non-complaining, non-confrontational and endlessly placating their egos. We're supposed to put up with moodiness, being undermined, neglected and even taken for granted, but never ever complain. I smehow just can't seem to go the distance, myself.

Pressing On

2008-04-28T17:30:00.002+10:00

Train fades into abyss

Living walls glow up white

Star night stain shooting fire

Red horizons

A force more bright than death

Tuned to 128,000 separate radio frequencies

Cross bearing Jesus for killing

Civilisations aimed at heavens

The war's already here

What stands if freedom fails?

Who dies if freedom lives?

Autumn Days

2008-04-15T01:03:00.004+10:00

Went for a wander, beyond the usual zones, in the aftermath of a storm that had turned day into darkness as the southerly blew in. Fork lightning streaked across the sky and it rained hard. It's less than an hour later and the light is so bright and strange that things appear transparent as I move towards them. Big dried-out plane tree leaves are mounting in the streets and stairs.

Returning the dvd.....

Female pressure

2008-04-09T13:28:00.003+10:00

Give this a whirl:

('Amoureux Solitaires' - music by Jenny Goes Dirty (Jennifer Cardini) & video by 4youreye)

http://www.femalepressure.net/videos/14_amoureux_4ye.html

Still confused and missing my friend

2008-04-09T13:22:00.004+10:00

Never Trust an Ex

2008-04-07T23:47:00.005+10:00

Still a little freaked out. Just can't get a grip on what happened - over two weeks ago now. My best friend, who happens to be my ex-lover, finally felt it was time for him to meet my new lover. It had been years since we'd been intimately involved and I had been with my new partner since last year, so it had been getting a little difficult for me, isolating the two of them from each other and seeing them separately.
My ex and I had talked clearly about it - how we really wanted to remain friends (we do genuinely like each other, after all!) and how, since we consider ourselves older and more mature now, we would rather expand our friendships, rather than reduce them. He had told me he was ready and invited us both for dinner, along with a couple of his other (female) friends, who I am also familiar with.

I should've known something was up after an hour or so, when my ex was clearly having problems getting started on dinner - so that his friend (who'd been at his flat for 4 hours previous to our arrival) actually cooked the food. But aside from seeing him 'drift away' to somewhere in his head sometime after eating - which isn't exactly unlike him - I thought things were going nicely. But then, after one person left (the cook), my ex surprised me in the kitchen as I was tidying up a bit, telling me how difficult it had all been for him, and after this sat down in front of the final three of us and, across the coffee table, proceeded to tell us - almost aggressively - "this has been really difficult for me, you know ...... after seven years ...... seven years ........ but you two, you're good ..." Added to this condescension, was an implied suggestion that he was handing me over to the new person. OK, so it'd been difficult for him. If he'd said this once, it would've been alright. But he just kept repeating it, necessitating a hasty exit on our part. Were we supposed to just sit there, feeling ambushed, tipsy with booze, food and a few hours of pleasantness, and then have a 'deep and meaningful' with him about his feelings? And what made him think it was appropriate to say these things to my (horrified!) new lover, who barely knows him and whose comfort (in this situation) I was responsible for? I felt hurt and betrayed that he would put me in such a position, because I had always felt I could trust him more than anyone else.

He's not around at the moment. When he called - 2 days after the event - and discovered I'd been upset by what had transpired, he was defensive at first and then avoided seeing me for the next 10 days (even after I'd suggested - via an email - that we needed to talk face-to-face about how to move on from there) and then went overseas for his planned 17-day holiday/visit to his family on Tuesday the 1st of April. However, he (predictably) phoned on the Sunday evening before leaving and left a message on my machine and then phoned me the day before departing - no doubt in an attempt to put his mind at ease for the good of his holiday. In the aftermath, he seems perplexed that I should feel this way. He appears to think it was big of him to do what he did and ask us over for dinner. He thinks it was all about him and his feelings - clearly no one else's. But it's not as if he'd been rejected or dumped or cheated on.

Anyway, I couldn't answer my phone, because I suddenly don't know how to relate to him any more. The person I thought I knew doesn't appear to exist.

Listening to........

2008-03-04T22:55:00.016+11:00

TODAY'S FAVOURITES:

Pantha du Prince - This Bliss (Dial)
Dark, deep bass and melodic ambience, with a rolling beat and beautiful use of bells. Melancholic, nostalgic, subtly uplifting, but never wimpy. Sort of soothing and punchy at the same time. Rich and luscious.

The Field - From Here We Go Sublime (Kompakt)
Wonderful, unique sound. Emotionally charged, deliciously beautiful sequences that switch from one to the other - each pitched differently, yet perfectly complementary to the one following and preceding. Actually, it's best listened to, rather than described.

Chromatics - IV ... Night Drive (Italians Do It Better)
Laid-back synth-pop songs with melancholy vocals (by Ruth Radelet) that are almost deadpan, or somehow bored-sounding. Almost electro, almost pop, with a lovely beguiling quality. It never dominates, but it draws you in to listen, without trying to grab you. The last track - an instrumental - is the longest one and quite different from the others, in that it chugs along somewhat 'Suicide'-like, but slower and without the vocals. Intriguing.

James Holden - At The Controls (Resist)
From 2006, this is an awesome 2-cd mix and the third from the 'At The Controls' series that I've heard. They all share an eclecticism that is really refreshing and this one includes acts as diverse as Trans Am, Malcolm Middleton, Paul Kalkbrenner, Water Lilly, Petter, Death In Vegas, Aphex Twin and 2 tracks from Holden's 'The Idiots Are Winning' ('Border Community'), along with an Apparat remix of label-mate Nathan Fake's 'Charlie's House'. Consistently engaging and interesting.

Too busy listening to music right now.......

2008-02-13T19:54:00.001+11:00

Summer Rant

2008-01-09T16:49:00.000+11:00

Summer holidays in Sydney, Australia and so what's going on?

1. Killer humidity - like living in a sauna. It rained during almost all of December.
2. Everyone's in party mode and, amongst the well-heeled, money - especially in my "inner-city wealth ghetto" (thanks SB) - is ostentatiously splashed around, whereas those less well-off seem somehow absent from the mix.
3. I'm broke - as are most other people in the 'less well-off' category - after Xmas and New Year festivities.
4. I'm working. Gotta rake in that part-time (yep! only paid for hours worked) income.
5. Too much entertainment/culture. Too little time. The Sydney Festival and a bunch of music mega-gigs are a case of too much all at once. It'd be nice if they could be spread over the year a bit better.
6. Yobbos galore. 'tis the season of the backyard bogan barbecue, that inevitably continues late into the night - and often all night - and keeps those of us trying to sleep in the bedrooms of blocks of units above from getting any sleep.
7. Too many drunks everywhere. Too many horrendously sunburnt backpackers in my local supermarket queue. Too many idiots. Too many suntans. Roll on autumn........

Try this - new rock'n'roll by 'The Kills'. Love it!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3fZP7QC4PE

Crazy recurring dream

2007-12-19T17:32:00.001+11:00

I hadn't experienced recurring nightmares since I was a child when, for quite a long period of time, I kept waking in a cold sweat after dreaming that the world outside my family backdoor was basically a spaghetti can of writhing earthworms that I was compelled - through some obscure but powerful sense of duty - to burrow my way through, in order to get to the nextdoor neighbours' house.

And now, it's happening again. I keep having this dream that I am - in fact, rather joyously - picking up one big live white rat after another, putting them into a big kitchen blender and ..... errr.... blending them! And, strangest of all, the resulting product is a combination of bright red blood and scraps of pure white rat fur. The whole time, I am jolly and laughing, despite waking in that familiar cold sweat.

I wonder what Dr Freud would have to say about this one?

Central Business District

2007-12-15T17:42:00.000+11:00

Picture this. When walking the other day in Sydney's CBD, I passed a bar that I'd never noticed before - not that there's any wonder! It's entrance was starkly lit and it's name - emblazoned over the door - 'PRIVILEGE'. In fact, the only reason I noticed was that its two security dudes, unusually dressed-up (for bouncers, anyway) in suits and ties, were standing outside on the street arguing with another suited knob, bemoaning the number of "idiots, with no understanding of interest rates!" They were getting really aggressive about it. Gee, that's right. We're all economists now!

It just looked so funny - these basically dumb-assed bogans arguing about interest rates underneath a sign saying PRIVILEGE.

(Perhaps you had to be there!)

Yes, I still go to gigs!

2007-12-11T23:38:00.000+11:00

Yes, yes. I've been neglecting my blog, I know. There's just been too much other stuff on. Like a bunch of contemporary electronic music gigs by Euro acts such as M.A.N.D.Y. and Booka Shade from Berlin's 'Get Physical' record label and Trentemoller, from Denmark. Continuing to create within the evolving tradition of house music, the artists from the 'Get Physical' catalogue, along with Trentemoller and many others, represent a new-wave of tech house music that can be intelligent, diverse, danceworthy or shoe-gazey, beautiful, disarming, melancholy and/or playful.
So where are the people over 30? Going to these gigs is like a kind of playground dance party for 'Schoolies Week' or something, with literally hordes of hyped-up kids. At the 'Booka Shade' gig on Wednesday night (at the Gaelic Club, Surry Hills), the majority were no more than 18 or 19.
In a packed house, there certainly didn't seem to be anyone over 25 - all seemingly cashed-up, with the latest flashy mobiles and cameras in the air, expensive clothes and those darned shaggy (emo-style) hairdos, with very expensive, elaborate colouring (males and females). They went absolutely nuts!! Most of the subtlety of those great pieces of music was somewhat lost in a rather muddy mix and in all the yelling by the crowd. It started almost like a kind of Booka Shade 'medley' - with tracks merging as if they'd tailored it to be for a pumping, rave/dance party and these jumped-up kids.

By contrast, Trentemoller retained all that subtlety - as he mixed his music live last Friday night. Some pieces were more upbeat, but overall it was complex and rich - the crowd more shoe-gazey, rather than dance-crazy.

I wasn't disappointed though - neither was my friend. Although perplexed about the fact that we have never (at these last 3 gigs) glimpsed anyone else over 30 (possibly 20!) there, apart from us, it was extremely interesting - almost as if we're on the crest of a new music renaissance, or something - a new movement for the iPod generation. Each track they began was greeted with a deafening roar of approval (and hands in the air) by the crowd - almost drowning the music out. They were so off their faces, the whole venue was a moshpit. We stood above, watching and listening. I kept thinking, why is it that I love this music, when none of my supposed 'peers' (being similarly passionate about great music) are here? Where are they? This is good stuff! Yet the crowd seems to be made up of pretty nice kids really.....no punch-ups, despite the overload of testosterone and 'out-of-it' state of them - friendly. I never felt self-consciously 'older', or anything. One girl, brushing past me excitedly, said "Sorry, I'm just a girl!" When I answered: "What?" (semi-horrified at her self-effacement), she said sweetly: "I'm a girl and you're a girl too" and touched my shoulder, kind of affectionately. They were just totally into the music! And they certainly approved of Booka Shade. These kids at least have good taste - and why wouldn't they? - even if it is doled out to them via 'Ministry of Sound' compilations, or whatever. It was great to feel included (yep! we actually did feel a part of it and welcome there) and it's great (I must say) to be alive and actually living. Hail the new music revolution!

Exhumation

2007-10-11T11:08:00.000+10:00

Since APEC, it's as if I've been asleep. There's still plenty to complain about and there are plenty of good things too, so why do I feel like I've just been unearthed?

Been hearing a lot of criticism by academics about the proliferation of blogging - all these people with nothing much to say apparently shouldn't bother. But I thought that was the point - giving everyone a voice.

It makes me feel like just listing what I eat for meals. Instead, I'll post a photo of my work/office area.....

until I have something more to say......

Thank Goodness It's Over

2007-09-10T15:04:00.000+10:00

After a week of dreary rainy weather, the sun is out this morning. George W. Bush and the other 20 'world leaders' have flown home, the constant drone of helicopters overhead has dissipated, the streets are ours again and life is returning to normal after the insanity of APEC. It's over and thank gawd for that!

The main protest march on Saturday resulted in no more than one or two "scuffles" amongst a 5,000-strong crowd that was almost overwhelmed by nearly as many police and the riot squad (and looking at the TV footage, those involved in these scuffles seemed innocuous, as they were overwhelmed by police officers. Perhaps they'd thrown coke cans or something.) The water cannon and other new shiny black riot squad vehicles were not used. All the media hype and politicians' rants about "violent protesters" were unfounded as Sydney residents took to the streets to voice their protest against our involvement in the war in Iraq; the Government's industrial relations policies and their lack of any real commitment to dealing with climate change, beyond the nuclear option of course; and APEC itself and a refusal to be intimidated into 'staying away and doing what we're told' - exercising our democratic right to protest. Instead, the Asia-Pacific Economic Co-operation forum resulted in nothing other than a plan to sell 'yellowcake' to Russia and get better access to military technology from the US, as well as making some sort of nuke deal with them.

The excuse given for the ridiculously intensive security during the event was to keep terrorists and protesters out, but it was pretty clear that it was to keep the protesters out, especially after the prank executed by the 'Chaser' team, where they managed to get through two checkpoints in a limousine bearing Canadian flags and security passes that had "JOKE" printed on them clearly and the word "Insecurity" instead of "Security". As exec producer Julian Morrow said: "It's a good thing we weren't Al Qaeda".

APEC = A Pointless Expensive Crock

2007-09-08T11:30:00.000+10:00

Thanks to 'The Chaser' team (satirical ABC TV show) for staging the fake motorcade on Thursday. And unbelievable too in that although they had been certain they wouldn't even get past one checkpoint before being stopped, they had cleared two of them and were only 10 metres from Bush's hotel before they handed themselves over to police. The police chief is furious at their irresponsibility, since they could easily have been shot by snipers - positioned on rooftops all over the area. As Julian Morrow (executive producer and one of the stars of the show) commented yesterday, it's a good thing they weren't Al Qaeda members (Chas was even dressed as Osama bin Laden!). Their limo was decorated with Canadian flags, even though no one noticed that Canada isn't even being represented at APEC. Hilarious! Also great is that this was the only thing that has ,so far, hit world headlines about the entire forum.
The Australian culture of larrikinism is alive!
And for those who haven't seen it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-DDWGKqGmI

Fuck Off APEC!

2007-09-01T23:05:00.000+10:00

There's a nasty virus about to descend upon Sydney. It's called the 'Asia-Pacific Economic Co-operation Forum' (APEC) and is already making us sick. To make it worse, we are all apparently supposed to just lie down, put up and shut up, as our daily lives are inconvenienced to the max - with essential services postponed, 'no go' zones and an inevitable ton of traffic chaos. And all the while, we are paying for it (a cool $300 million!) out of our money - public money.

Worst of all, we're being censored from bitching about it. Well, they're trying to get us off the streets, anyway. It's the old terrorism excuse again, of course. But we should be really pissed off. Entire precincts of city buildings are being caged off. In fact, a tall fence was erected today, at a cost to taxpayers of $1.5 million, extending along 5 kilometres of footpaths in the northern part of the CBD, as a pre-emptive measure to "protect against terrorists and protesters". Main streets must periodically shut down, just so George W. Bush and a selection of other creepy old 'world leaders' can drive in their motorcade to their destinations without interruption. Armed military helicopters will be on 24-hour patrol. Just the other night, a huge helicopter, apparently carrying out a practice operation, hovered pretty much straight above my apartment building in the city - otherwise barely moving - from 1.45am to nearly 3.30am, making sleep impossible. It's all such a big wank!

And, predictably of course, any mention of protests almost always has the word 'violent' attached these days. In a rather interesting linguistic twist, the word 'protester' has been dispensed with, in favour of 'violent protesters' (in the future, they'll probably be simply referred to as 'terrorists') who are, we are told, to blame for all inconveniences to be experienced in our city, despite the fact that there haven't actually been any protests (or terrorist attacks for that matter) as yet. It has actually been decided that the riot squad will be using a water cannon against these supposed 'violent protesters'. You can pretty much guess that such provocative assumptions are already setting emotions aflame, so that either side is likely to lose their cool early on and result in some seriously injured people and needless arrests. Democracy is being squashed and I, for one, am appalled.

This dawn could be the world's first

2007-08-28T18:06:00.001+10:00

...Never yet has such a time existed, nor this light, nor this being which is me. What will be tomorrow shall be other, and what I shall see will be seen by reconstituted eyes, full of a new vision. (Fernando Pessoa)

'When the Veneer of Democracy Begins to Fade'......

2007-08-28T01:08:00.000+10:00

I know it's been a while. Life's kind of taken over of late. And I know that this picture has nothing much to do with what I'm about to write. I just want it there, ok?

Anyway, a few things in 'news' land have got me going lately. First, in the lead-up to the country's federal election, opposition leader Kevin Rudd has had a smear campaign thrown at him over the fact that he'd been to a strip club in London 4 years ago and had allegedly fondled a stripper, to which, in his defence, he said he was too drunk at the time to remember. The Libs were obviously hoping to smash his squeaky clean and nerdy image, but instead it's given him a boost and shown that he 'has blood running through his veins'. Suddenly, Kev's looking a bit sexier. Anyway, it's John Howard we should be worried about. He might not have been to a strip club, but he hangs out with the likes of Dick Cheney and George Bush. Personally, I'd rather he hung out with strippers.

Germaine Greer's been in the news recently too. Around the anniversary of Princess Diana's death, she announces that Diana was "a devious moron" who slept with married men and made nuisance calls when they tried to dump her. Brilliant! Finally, someone cuts past the dreary celebrity mythology that's been built around Diana, so we can be reminded what was really going on. This was reported, along with other snippets of heavily-edited comments she'd made with typical reactionary outrage and ridicule by the media. She is almost always on the money, but her frankness is undermined as obnoxiousness by the media, men and even feminists more and more aggressively and often quite unfairly. I think the world needs Germaine Greers and I find this contemptuous attitude toward her quite strange - like a jealousy of people that tell the truth. Still, at least her boldness gets her in the papers and I guess that's the point. We should surely never underestimate the value of the ratbag.

Last, but not least, was Howard's announcement last week that he thought Australians should embrace a sense of "aspirational nationalism" to guide relations between different levels of government. (I actually thought I heard the newsreader say "national socialism".)

CSS (Cansei de ser Sexy)

2007-07-19T15:58:00.000+10:00

OK, so it's been out for a while, but I think this group (from Brazil) is gorgeous. Almost retro in style, I think their pop songs are pure pop lusciousness. Have a squiz at this video.

And this one too!!!

Hello Kitty. Goodbye Kitty

2007-07-11T01:07:00.000+10:00

This huge, floating thing set off again from Garden Island naval base today, after parking for 5 days across the road and down a bit from where I live. $10 million was spent in Sydney by its crew during the 5-day stop-off, so local retailers were happy. Motorists around the metro area weren't quite so impressed. With traffic restrictions everywhere - even suburbs miles and miles away - you might start to wonder if the beast actually had legs and could walk at will all over our city.

In town the other day I kept seeing young, black guys spending up big around shops like 'HMV Music', 'General Pants' and 'Hype'. Clean-cut and polite. In hot pursuit of R&R action, they still appeared to be detached from whatever it was that they were doing. Aloof.

'KItty Hawk' is about to be decommissioned and a new carrier (the 'George Washington') will succeed it.

Please Cancel Big Brother

2007-07-05T00:18:00.000+10:00

Please cancel 'Big Brother'.
Aside from its vague appeal as tv junk food, such idle viewing can become unexpectedly and annoyingly compelling, even just to have on in the background. It's too easy to be drawn in (especially on these winter evenings), but I resent it. After watching a few episodes, the housemates, who initially come across as the usual disappointing stereotypes (despite being hyped as reflecting "all walks of life"), start appearing to be more complex - even interesting. And before I know it, it's as if they are characters in the background of my own domestic life. I even hear their voices in my dreams.
But let's face it. The makers of the show are the people having the fun here. They are the ones who have the outrageous privilege of getting to devise a scenario to fit specifically chosen people into and to psychologically profile the entrants in order to then pick the people we can watch and (well, supposedly) be entertained by. They get to create an experimental human zoo of photogenic people with contrasting personalities and devise activities for and play a part in manipulating situations between them that they hope will result in maximum entertainment value.
Another problem is the way the public votes to evict nominated housemates. Now that we are into our seventh season of the show, viewers have become very set in their ways in regard to how they vote. It's almost a guarantee that the more interesting/intense/confrontational/annoying/outrageous (or female, unless they're exceptionally vacuous) characters leave first and the winner is the most low-key, easy-going, innocuous bloke. Yet we keep watching and keep hoping that the one we end up sympathising with the most will triumph.
Frustrating and ultimately pointless.

Outfit of the Month

2007-07-03T23:48:00.000+10:00

A month and a half has gone by. The 'Pasha Bulker' has finally been successively towed into deep water. I've taken up bowling (joking!).

Outfit of the Week

2007-05-22T23:49:00.000+10:00

Trentemoller - The Last Resort

2007-05-18T17:33:00.000+10:00

Listening to my new cd reminds me of the 1970s and those concept albums that we all thought were 'JUST SO AMAZING'. And of jazz/fusion albums (I could swear he uses actual samples) from the same era - that were, in themselves, sophisticated audio experiences we took the time to sit back and listen to from beginning to end.

Trentemoller's sound - kind of cut-up electro-dub - is chilled and always experimental - even infectiously danceworthy at times. First-listen favourites are 'Evil Dub' and 'Always Something Better' - total killers! There appear to be no duds really, since every track is inventive in some way though, for me, 'Chameleon' dragged on a bit within pretty familiar territory. Overall, there is definitely that minimalist dub vibe and I'm reminded of Pole, Thomas Brinkmann and even a hint of Mouse on Mars and Irresistible Force. But something more is going on here. The music stands out as almost neo-classical - working (for me, anyway) as a kind of referential audio cut-up of contemporary music and bourgeois metroscapes, though it is highly distinctive in its own way as ultra-modern techno. I think it's up there with The Knife's 'Silent Shout' as a modern classic.

Hauntingly beautiful, intelligent, infuriating, cool music.

Getting Ready for Winter

2007-04-25T16:46:00.000+10:00

Yes, folks, the colder weather's coming, so it's time to start getting snug.

It's a public holiday in Sydney - Anzac Day - where we pay our respects to those Australians who fought and returned and those who died in the insanity of war. However, with all due respects, I hate this day of 'death and glory'. (Isn't 'glorified death' more apt?) I wanted to see a movie this afternoon, but had forgotten that the city would still be clogged with the peanut-crunching crowds. Pubs were overflowing - not just with the war vets (God bless 'em!) but with crowds of raucous yobbos and their hard-faced female partners - the sort of people who wear footie shirts as 'smart/casual' wear. People everywhere waved Aussie flags, wore Aussie flag clothing and clogged fast food outlets. I walked amongst them, feeling like I'd just landed on another planet. Outside my window now, as evening approaches, I can hear the drunks as they hit the streets - getting louder and louder. It's gonna be a long night.

Limousine

2007-04-15T01:27:00.000+10:00

Out on my walk/run the other evening from Woolloomooloo and around Mrs Maquarie's Chair and Farm Cove, as I ran up the stairs on the west side where the tourists gather to take their snapshots of the Opera House and Harbour Bridge - Sydney's most famous icons - there were a bunch of girls in party frocks, clutching glasses of bubbly as they wandered from the road and across the grass to take in the view. Nothing out of the ordinary here - looked like some sort of hen party. As I ran, my eyes drifted lazily from them up to the road to their transport - a limousine. But I had never seen a limousine like this. It was a hummer!!

This beast of a thing seemed so incongruous with these girlies in their frilly frocks. What could they have been thinking? What is the limmo company thinking? What about the planet? Anyway, I found the pic on the internet.

'The Slits' in Sydney

2007-03-15T21:36:00.000+11:00

Well, here was another gig I couldn't ignore - 'The Slits', reformed, playing in Sydney's Gaelic Club last night. Although the line-up was, apparently, supposed to mirror the one on the newly released 3-song EP ('Revenge of the Killer Slits'), with vocalist, Ari Up and bassist Tessa Pollitt (the only 2 original members), Paul Cook (ex 'Sex Pistols') on drums, Marco Pirroni (ex 'Adam and the Ants') on guitar and back-up vocals courtesy of Cook's daughter, Holly; Pollitt's daughter, Phoebe and Mick Jones' (of 'The Clash') daughter, Lauren, this didn't exactly transpire. Instead, we were given an all-female line-up of Ari Up, Tessa Pollitt, Holly (back-up vocals), drummer Anna (?) and two guitarists (pretty sure they were the aforementioned Lauren and Phoebe).

Nice to see a good mix of age groups in the crowd - from teens to 50-somethings, retro-dressed art school girls, old punks, '70s feminists, lots of women - this was an exuberant, fun gig. Ari Up, resplendent in dreads trailing to her thighs and three colourful costume changes was the perfect front-person - enthusiastically dancing and shaking her barely-covered bum - she was all positivity and 'you go girl!' attitude, whilst constantly chatting to her audience and giving away prizes of Jamaican reggae records (yep! she still lives in Jamaica). Continually pulling enthusiastic audience members up to dance with her onstage (affectionately proclaiming them, for the encore song 'Typical Girls' from their seminal 1979 album 'Cut', as her 'typical girls' and typical boys'), her joyful 'girl-confidence' and pseudo-tribal pop-spirituality was never heavy-handed, just sincere and happy. And how cool was bassist, Tessa Pollitt? Wow.

The music was a great mix of their reggae and punk-influenced songs - the older material featured prominently - even one or two tracks from one of their early punk bootlegs, still in my possession. Other highlights included the great 'Newtown' and 'Shoplifting' from 'Cut' and - best of all - a newie called 'Kill Them With Love'. The crowd was generally friendly too. I had good chats with a couple who've been together and married since the punk era, a bunch of teen girls, a couple of 40-something gay guys - one of whom had seen 'The Slits' in London in the late '70s and a cute boy who helped me deflect a 'situation' that occurred with an aggressive, drunk girl and her friends who kept slamming painfully into me like rabid monkeys as I stood in the crowd.

Praise must also go to the second support act, 'Japanther'. I missed the earlier part of their set, but what I saw/heard was hilarious, funky and enormously entertaining. All in all, a great night out.

Happy Mardi Gras 2007!

2007-03-02T11:46:00.000+11:00

Really looking forward to Mardi Gras tomorrow night - especially the big party. I can't wait!

Just thinking about how the official name of the 'community' has changed from 'GLBTQ' (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer) to 'GLBTI' - ie the word 'Queer' has been replaced by 'Intersex'. I'm not exactly sure of the official take, but it is my understanding that 'intersex' is basically the new word for 'hermaphroditism' - an intersex (or hermaphrodite) person having characteristics or organs of both sexes. I also found myself wondering if this (apparently very rare) genetic condition is becoming more common or if, perhaps, there was any record (official or otherwise) of people being surgically modified to be 'intersex'. Come to think of it, I recall Genesis P-Orridge undergoing breast enhancement surgery along with his wife - as part of an overall plastic surgery project that will make them look progressively similar - which would put him in this category I guess (or would it?), so maybe it is getting more popular.

I remember, as a child, upon discovering that snails were hermaphroditic - and able to actually reproduce alone - thinking how strange this was.

Religion is Stupid

2007-02-17T18:23:00.000+11:00

Enough is enough. I've had it with religion and the concept of a 'man-in-the-sky' God. Up until now, I've swung this way and that, without committing - generally considering myself to be an agnostic. But it isn't enough any more. Whilst I realise I'm opening a huge can of worms, I think it's high time I took a stand and spoke out in support of atheism.

Agnostics sit on the fence, requiring proof of God in order to believe in Him. But here lies the problem. They are actually prepared to believe. To be prepared to believe in God means one is prepared to believe in the concept of an omnipotent, omnipresent being - ie knowing absolutely everything, including everything each one of us is doing, thinking and feeling at every given moment, and being everywhere all at once. There has never been one iota of proof of this! It's obviously ridiculous. Surely, being prepared to believe in life on other planets is a much more reasonable idea?

Yet billions of people everywhere believe in God and, despite the total lack of evidence, religion is becoming more popular. It is the source of much of the escalating conflict in the world and is - quite alarmingly - progressively starting to infiltrate and inform traditionally secular politics in western countries. OK, so human beings naturally turn their minds to the question of the meaning of life and its mysteries at some point in their lives, including what happens when we die. But religious nuts just can't seem to accept that we are part of nature and that all manifestations of life within nature eventually expire and die - finito!. I think this is the root of the problem. People don't want to accept that we all die. So the concept of 'afterlife' is invented as a comfort, where an elite group of 'believers' is allowed entry into a special, perfect world called 'heaven' (or are otherwise reincarnated in another form etc etc). I mean each to his/her own, but this seems seriously deluded to me - and a cop-out to boot. And then there are the Holy Books, of course, including the Bible, the Koran and many more. Yet, surely these books can just as easily be interpreted as a mixture of fact and metaphor - morality fables passed down through generations - relating to our connectedness to each other and to nature as a higher authority? Whichever way you look at it, I don't see why believers in God Almighty assume the higher moral ground when it comes to these questions, because that's what they ultimate are - questions.

I believe that we can own our own morality and be compassionate and responsible human beings, without involving (the idea of) a 'supreme being'. Surely we can continue to question ourselves, our actions and the ways in which we affect others. We can learn to be accountable for these actions and to live with ourselves and what we do - learning from our mistakes as we move through the world - as we can also learn to forgive ourselves and others. And our life on earth is the opportunity we are given to carry out these tasks. To my mind, at least, the concept of God is a distraction that seriously undermines this work. None of us is perfect, but we can evolve. Religious types would say that only God is perfect. But it is nature that is perfect because all of life - and its complexities - is contained within it. But I do not believe in God.

'Marie Antoinette' & 'Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man' movie reviews

2007-02-13T00:50:00.000+11:00

Just a couple of recently seen films I wanted to tell you about, so here goes:

MARIE ANTOINETTE

This movie is delicious - a visual tour de force through the palace and lifestyle of the court of Versailles in the heyday of Louis XVI and his young Austrian bride. As a visual and musical piece, this is stunning work, with everything reflecting the pastel tones of the ever-present displayed cakes - the colours of marzipan and sugared almonds - but if you're looking for a history lesson, it's rather light on detail - more like candy floss. Powdered faces and lacquered hair piled high, perfectly symmetrical shots of the manicured gardens of the palace and a post-punk soundtrack that seems absolutely perfect. Suzie and the Banshees' 'Hong Kong Garden' has never worked as well as it did in the masked ball scenes. Inspired.

LEONARD COHEN: I'M YOUR MAN

I love Leonard Cohen. I'd even go as far as saying I've always preferred his music/poetry to Bob Dylan's. And he's still producing good work.This film is based around a tribute concert of his music, performed by some of the "world's best singers" (as we are informed) including Nick Cave, Martha and Rufus Wainwright, Antony Hegerty and Jarvis Cocker, amongst others. The performances are cut with bits of interviews with Cohen himself and some impressions of him, given by artists performing the works. Unfortunately though, members of U2 - Bono and The Edge - have too much to say in this department. And to make things worse, U2 are also given the privilege of doing a separate, filmed performance - in a 'retro-cabaret' style stage setting - of one of the songs, with Cohen also singing a song to their backing, though only a part of it, which was most disappointing. U2 have to be one of the most over-rated, over-represented groups ever, so their presence here seems completely superfluous. Also, what I love about Leonard Cohen's songs is that they deal with the emotional realm - uncertainty, longing, self-reflection, sensuality, pain, guilt etc - themes that are explored poetically and usually ambiguously. They are like unsolved fables that contain a genuine air of mystery. Yet, Cohen's search for meaning, as revealed in this film, kind of tainted this mystery, especially since he is now 'at peace' (so to speak) via his relationship with Buddhism, which kind of wrapped the whole movie up a little disappointingly.

New Jacket

2007-01-31T00:04:00.000+11:00

On his return from a work trip to Malaysia, Stephen gave me a jacket he'd bought there for me, as a gift. After reading the blurb on the jacket's shop tag several times, I am still perplexed:

"Hot Wind signifies the spirit after dark. It is the spirit and soul that provide positive energies and winds by stimulating their nerve to realize their dreams and enjoy every moments of life. It is a street wear brand that explores into their mysterious side and breaks beyond their depth inner feelings that ultimately sparks off the attractive and sexiest chemistry."